Tea Party Etiquette
June 2nd, 2005
The Tea Party Club
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Smoking or Non-Smoking?
by Terry L. Wynne
Cancer, including lung cancer, has now surpassed cardiovascular disease as the number one cause of death in the
Unites States today. With such a glaring fact, do you allow smoking at your tea party even if you smoke yourself?
If you don’t allow smoking, clarify in your invitation that smoking is allowed only on your outdoor deck or patio. If you do
allow smoking, be aware that guests may be highly offended because they know that second-hand smoke can affect
their health and because their clothes can also smell of smoke.
What do you do if you ask guests not to smoke and one lights a cigarette anyway? Perhaps a true story best epitomizes
how to use humor to handle the situation. In the middle of an airplane flight, a smoker lit a cigarette in a non-smoking
section. The savvy flight attendant sweetly asked the gentlemen, “Sir, do you care to step outside while you finish your
cigarette?”
If you’ve asked guests to smoke outside, but find that they smoke inside anyway, you could use humor in a similar
manner by saying something like, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but we do have a smoking section just for “first class” guests --
but it is on the deck. I wanted to show you my deck anyway, will you come with me to show it to you now?” As the host or
hostess, for the sake of your guests, you are responsible for taking action to enforce “party rules.” Fortunately, humor and
a smile can defuse the ashes of even the smokiest of situations.
by Terry L. Wynne
Cancer, including lung cancer, has now surpassed cardiovascular disease as the number one cause of death in the
Unites States today. With such a glaring fact, do you allow smoking at your tea party even if you smoke yourself?
If you don’t allow smoking, clarify in your invitation that smoking is allowed only on your outdoor deck or patio. If you do
allow smoking, be aware that guests may be highly offended because they know that second-hand smoke can affect
their health and because their clothes can also smell of smoke.
What do you do if you ask guests not to smoke and one lights a cigarette anyway? Perhaps a true story best epitomizes
how to use humor to handle the situation. In the middle of an airplane flight, a smoker lit a cigarette in a non-smoking
section. The savvy flight attendant sweetly asked the gentlemen, “Sir, do you care to step outside while you finish your
cigarette?”
If you’ve asked guests to smoke outside, but find that they smoke inside anyway, you could use humor in a similar
manner by saying something like, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but we do have a smoking section just for “first class” guests --
but it is on the deck. I wanted to show you my deck anyway, will you come with me to show it to you now?” As the host or
hostess, for the sake of your guests, you are responsible for taking action to enforce “party rules.” Fortunately, humor and
a smile can defuse the ashes of even the smokiest of situations.
Do You Invite Pets to Your Tea Party? by Terry L. Wynne
As much as you love your adorable pets, guests at your tea party may not like animals. When you invite your guests, notifying them that a cat or dog in
lives in your residence is appropriate. Guests who are allergic to them need to know so they can choose whether or not to attend.
The next decision is whether you allow your cat or dog in the same room with your guests during your tea party. What is acceptable pet behavior to you
may not be acceptable to your guests. You may never know when your pet brushes against expensive clothing or may lick, nuzzle, or rub a nose against
an unsuspecting guest.
Keeping your pets outside or in another room behind a closed door will avoid your pet rubbing against an unsuspecting guest. You may also want to
remove from sight any birds, hamsters, or other animals in a cage that may have any strong odor. Fish in a bowl or tank without a bad odor are not as
likely to be a cause for concern.
One of the most polite things you can do for your guests is to make them comfortable and provide a memorable party – which means avoiding any
discomfort from your pets. If you don’t keep your pets out of sight, guests who receive a nuzzle from your pet’s wet nose will remember the incident, and
you may find that these guests respond to your future invitations with “Thank you, but I can’t come.”
As much as you love your adorable pets, guests at your tea party may not like animals. When you invite your guests, notifying them that a cat or dog in
lives in your residence is appropriate. Guests who are allergic to them need to know so they can choose whether or not to attend.
The next decision is whether you allow your cat or dog in the same room with your guests during your tea party. What is acceptable pet behavior to you
may not be acceptable to your guests. You may never know when your pet brushes against expensive clothing or may lick, nuzzle, or rub a nose against
an unsuspecting guest.
Keeping your pets outside or in another room behind a closed door will avoid your pet rubbing against an unsuspecting guest. You may also want to
remove from sight any birds, hamsters, or other animals in a cage that may have any strong odor. Fish in a bowl or tank without a bad odor are not as
likely to be a cause for concern.
One of the most polite things you can do for your guests is to make them comfortable and provide a memorable party – which means avoiding any
discomfort from your pets. If you don’t keep your pets out of sight, guests who receive a nuzzle from your pet’s wet nose will remember the incident, and
you may find that these guests respond to your future invitations with “Thank you, but I can’t come.”
The Tea Party Club Tea Parties for Children Tea Party China Party Decorating Etiquette and
Good Manners Party Favors Tea Party Recipes Invitations Placecards Tea Party Resources
Tea Party Themes
Good Manners Party Favors Tea Party Recipes Invitations Placecards Tea Party Resources
Tea Party Themes
There is an order in which tea party foods are to be eaten. First, scones or muffins, then sandwiches, and lastly,
sweets.
Take small bites. Never stuff the whole sandwich or dessert in your mouth even though it seems small enough.
Do not dine with gloves on.
When seated at a table, raise only the teacup to drink, not the saucer. Place the teacup gently back on the saucer. If
you are not seated at a table, simply hold the saucer in your lap with your left hand and raise the teacup with your right
hand. Return the cup to the saucer between sips.
Never dip a scone in jam or cream. Pretend it is a dinner roll. Break off bite size pieces and add the jam or cream in
your own plate. Scones are not to be eaten with a fork.
If serving on a 3-tiered server, place the scones on the top tier, savories and sandwiches on the middle tier, and
desserts on the bottom.
Never sip or slurp tea.
Place all forks or spoons on their corresponding plates. Never lay a serving utensil on the tablecloth or table.
Be sure to unfold your napkin and place it in your lap. Leave your napkin on the chair, not the table, if you must leave
the table.
Practice these before going to a tea party, especially with children. You will be surprised how much they will enjoy
knowing the rules of etiquette.
sweets.
Take small bites. Never stuff the whole sandwich or dessert in your mouth even though it seems small enough.
Do not dine with gloves on.
When seated at a table, raise only the teacup to drink, not the saucer. Place the teacup gently back on the saucer. If
you are not seated at a table, simply hold the saucer in your lap with your left hand and raise the teacup with your right
hand. Return the cup to the saucer between sips.
Never dip a scone in jam or cream. Pretend it is a dinner roll. Break off bite size pieces and add the jam or cream in
your own plate. Scones are not to be eaten with a fork.
If serving on a 3-tiered server, place the scones on the top tier, savories and sandwiches on the middle tier, and
desserts on the bottom.
Never sip or slurp tea.
Place all forks or spoons on their corresponding plates. Never lay a serving utensil on the tablecloth or table.
Be sure to unfold your napkin and place it in your lap. Leave your napkin on the chair, not the table, if you must leave
the table.
Practice these before going to a tea party, especially with children. You will be surprised how much they will enjoy
knowing the rules of etiquette.
Good manners do matter at any occasion, but a tea party is the perfect occasion to teach everyone about proper
etiquette. Here are a few etiquette rules to pass around to children and friends:
etiquette. Here are a few etiquette rules to pass around to children and friends:
Proper Napkin Etiquette
A tea party can be and is usually an elegant affair. That is why napkin etiquette is as important for your tea party as it is
for a formal dinner.
As each guest arrives, they will be seated and politely wait for other guests to arrive and also be seated. Once all the
guests have arrived, the hostess will be seated. At that time, she will remove the napkin from the table and place it on
her lap.
When you have finished with your tea and meal, you should place your napkin to the right of the plate on the table. If for
some reason you need to leave the table, you should place your napkin on your seat until you return.
When the tea party is over, the hostess will place her napkin on the table. At that time you should fold your napkin in half
or quarters and neatly place it on the table. It does not need to be folded as neatly as the way that you found it at the
beginning of the tea but it should not crumpled or balled up either.
**If your tea is formal you should use cloth napkins. Elegant paper napkins are fine for less formal tea parties.
A tea party can be and is usually an elegant affair. That is why napkin etiquette is as important for your tea party as it is
for a formal dinner.
As each guest arrives, they will be seated and politely wait for other guests to arrive and also be seated. Once all the
guests have arrived, the hostess will be seated. At that time, she will remove the napkin from the table and place it on
her lap.
When you have finished with your tea and meal, you should place your napkin to the right of the plate on the table. If for
some reason you need to leave the table, you should place your napkin on your seat until you return.
When the tea party is over, the hostess will place her napkin on the table. At that time you should fold your napkin in half
or quarters and neatly place it on the table. It does not need to be folded as neatly as the way that you found it at the
beginning of the tea but it should not crumpled or balled up either.
**If your tea is formal you should use cloth napkins. Elegant paper napkins are fine for less formal tea parties.
How To Be the Perfect Tea Party Hostess
You want to be the perfect tea party hostess! How do you do this? You have never hosted a tea party before. What is expected of you? Well, sit down
and relax for a moment. You have been hosting events most of your life. Whether a birthday party, baby shower or wedding reception, you have been a
hostess many times before.
Planning ahead is essential if you want to be the perfect hostess. You should know exactly who is planning to attend, how the room will be set, how the
food is to be served and the décor. Use the set up of your room to your best advantage. If you have a very large group of guests, you may want to set up
several large round tables. This will allow you to move from table to table to talk to all of your guests.
If you are entertaining a smaller group, you may want to have a buffet setting at one end of the room. This with an informal setting of chairs and small
side tables strategically positioned around the room will allow you to move constantly through the crowd.
One way to allow yourself more time with your guests is to ask a few friends to help serve the tea. Each friend could spend 15 minutes as a server –
this allows you more freedom to act as the perfect hostess.
You want to ensure that you have an opportunity to keep an eye on the food and the tea and to also be able to spend time talking to your guests. Keep
moving around and make sure that everyone has enough to eat and drink and that they are enjoying your tea party.
You want to be the perfect tea party hostess! How do you do this? You have never hosted a tea party before. What is expected of you? Well, sit down
and relax for a moment. You have been hosting events most of your life. Whether a birthday party, baby shower or wedding reception, you have been a
hostess many times before.
Planning ahead is essential if you want to be the perfect hostess. You should know exactly who is planning to attend, how the room will be set, how the
food is to be served and the décor. Use the set up of your room to your best advantage. If you have a very large group of guests, you may want to set up
several large round tables. This will allow you to move from table to table to talk to all of your guests.
If you are entertaining a smaller group, you may want to have a buffet setting at one end of the room. This with an informal setting of chairs and small
side tables strategically positioned around the room will allow you to move constantly through the crowd.
One way to allow yourself more time with your guests is to ask a few friends to help serve the tea. Each friend could spend 15 minutes as a server –
this allows you more freedom to act as the perfect hostess.
You want to ensure that you have an opportunity to keep an eye on the food and the tea and to also be able to spend time talking to your guests. Keep
moving around and make sure that everyone has enough to eat and drink and that they are enjoying your tea party.
| Hostess Gift Ideas It is always a nice idea to take a hostess gift when attending a tea party. It is a gracious way to thank the hostess for planning the party and including you as a guest. Here are a few thoughtful gift suggestions: Entertaining Diary Available in many bookstores and stationary specialty stores. These lovely books help coordinate party planning and they double as a memory book for parties given. They include a place to journal your menus, seating arrangements and guest lists. Tea Cozies Tea Cozies of many color schemes and varieties of fabric can be easily found online. Any hostess would love to receive a tea cozy; the perfect accessory for serving tea. Choose one that matches the home decor of the hostess. A Basket of Goodies A basket filled with a variety of loose leaf teas makes a grand hostess gift. Choose an English Breakfast tea, green tea, Earl Grey, or Oolong tea to fill the basket. Crystal Clear Gift A crystal bowl filled with home-made chocolate truffles is always a special way to present a gift. Chocolate truffle recipes are plentiful online and easy to make. Add a crystal bowl for your hostess will be delighted. A Good Book Give your favorite hostess a copy of the book "The Tea Experience", a wonderful 136 page book with stunning photography and recipes especially for the tea enthusiast. another must-have gift for the aspiring hostess is "Southern Lady - Gracious Tables". It is a definitive guide to creating stunning tablescapes for any occasion. |
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